


If history has taught me anything

by makerofaqueen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A little angst, Drarry, FTM Harry Potter, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 20:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20180572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makerofaqueen/pseuds/makerofaqueen
Summary: Pansy drags poor Draco to the Hogwarts fifteen year renuion of their graduation. Only, Draco never Went back for that last year, and he doesn't feel particularly welcome now.





	If history has taught me anything

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this purely for self-indulgence because I've been looking at a shitload of FTM Harry fanart lately and I love the trope. If you like it too, let me know.
> 
> Any slight transfobia in this is simply them being detached from muggle Life and having no clue what the heck testosterone is and how to use it. Muggles are a mystery.

’Come on, Draco, go the party,’ she had said. ‘It’s the fifteen-year reunion of our leaving Hogwarts! Come on, Draco, it will do you good to get out some,’ she had said.

Well _fuck that_.

Draco was standing with his back pressed against a corner of the room, cradling a now lukewarm gin and tonic, hoping against hope that people _wouldn’t_ recognize him. They did, of course. It wasn’t like he had ever been able to remain incognito with his almost white hair (long now, like his father’s, and in an impeccable ponytail). The party had barely gotten on its way and he already got nasty looks from other guests. They didn’t even _need_ alcohol to hate him. This was shaping up to be an incredibly lousy evening.

Pansy and Zabini _had_ been at his side but now he was off to get them fresh drinks and she was in the ladies’ room. Draco was on his own.

‘Didn’t fancy meeting you here,’ an all-too familiar voice suddenly said off to his right side. Draco turned towards it and gawked. The tall, gangly boy that had been Ronald Weasley was now a (still) tall man who seemed to have grown into his body at last. Of course, it had been a long time since they had last met.

‘Didn’t fancy I’d go, either, but Pansy kind of made me.’

Kind of made me, that was the lie of the day. She had literally dressed him, poured two rapid glasses of prosecco down his throat and then dragged his skinny pale butt here. However, that wasn’t something he’d ever admit to Ron.

Or anyone.

Ron held his hand out for Draco to take, and it took Draco an embarrassingly long time to realize he wanted him to shake it. When he eventually did take Ronald’s hand and shook it, the redhead smiled.

‘It’s good to see you, Draco. I mean it. It’s been so long.’

Sixteen years, yeah.

‘Yeah,’ was all Draco could say. He scratched his neck, suddenly bashful. He was saved, however, by the bell.

Or in this case, the Minister for magic.

‘Draco? Draco Malfoy? I can’t believe it! How _are_ you?’

Draco was flabbergasted by Hermione enveloping him in the biggest hug he had gotten thus far in his life. The only thing that kept her from engulfing him completely was the giant belly she was carrying. Eight months ahead, at the very least. Draco was worried she might spontaneously burst into labor by simply standing up. The woman should be at home, in bed.

‘It’s good to see you, too, ma’am,’ he mumbled.

‘Oh, Draco, don’t give me _that_.’ She smiled, absolutely radiant. Draco had always thought she was absolutely stunning, in a totally objective way, of course.

‘You never answered my question! How are you doing these days?’

_Spending my days locked away in my father’s old mansion, relieving the war over and over, wishing that I’d been brave enough to stand up to them. Wishing I had the courage to end it all. Hating myself a little more every time I think of what I did to you. What I did to all of you._

‘I’m fine.’

She eyed him for a moment too long, and Draco was instantly worried that Pansy had told on him, but Hermione moved on.

‘Have you met anyone of your old friends?’

‘Uh… Pansy and Blaise are around here somewhere.’

‘Good. I’d like to meet them. So, what do you do?’

‘Do?’

_You really need to work on your people skills, Malfoy._

_How? I never leave the mansion._

‘Yes, like, what do you do for a living?’

‘He doesn’t need to work, sweetie. He’s got all that Malfoy-treasure to live off of,’ Ron said with a wink.

Draco was actually thankful for Ron’s big mouth this time. Hermione scowled at him, like she was about to tell him off, but then Pansy and Blaise swooped in and saved him yet again. When all four of them had exchanged greetings and Blaise had equipped Draco with yet another gin and tonic, this one actually with ice, Pansy steered the conversation to the person missing.

‘So where is the last of the golden trio?’

_Merlin, she couldn’t even be subtle if she tried._

‘Harry? He’s around here somewhere,’ Ron said and gazed out the crowd. ‘I’m trying to spot him, but he isn’t a very tall bloke, now is he?’

Draco craned his neck to try and see, which instantly earned him a smirk from Pansy. He narrowed his eyes at her but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to.

‘You should put a flag or something on him,’ Blaise commented.

‘Ah, there he is!’ Ron bellowed: ‘Oi! Harry!’

Harry stood across the room, talking to someone Draco didn’t recognize, only when he turned around and waved at them, Draco barely recognized Harry, either, and Draco’s stomach dropped.

Well _fuck him_.

Harry looked nothing, _nothing_ like he had in school. Back in school, he had been (in Draco’s opinion) a skinny tomboy with messy hair and four layers of too-big clothes beneath his robes.

‘What the fuck _happened_ to him?’ He turned towards Hermione and Ron. The Minister for magic was grinning at him. _Grinning_!

‘It’s been sixteen years, Draco,’ Ron pointedly said.

‘Yes, I’m aware of that, but…’ Draco was at a loss for words. ‘…but, he’s…’

‘He looks like a proper man,’ Blaise blurted out what all three of them were thinking.

‘Thank you!’ Draco exclaimed.

‘He _is_ a proper man,’ Hermione said with a hint of irritation in her voice.

‘You know what he means,’ Pansy said and sipped her drink.

Hermione huffed. Ron put an arm around her shoulders and said something in her ear that softened her expression. She nodded.

‘I guess you guys don’t know about testosterone, do you?’ she said.

Blaise and Pansy looked like live question marks. Draco had heard the term somewhere, but he wasn’t sure where. Was Harry taking it?

‘Muggle medicine can do great things,’ Ron continued where his wife had left off. ‘They can transform your looks like you wouldn’t believe, with both drugs and surgeries.’

_Surgeries? Did that mean that Harry…?_

Across the room, Harry said goodbye to the person he had been speaking to and made his way through the crowd right at them. Draco took in the view of him. Back in school, Draco could pretend he wasn’t attracted to Potter by telling himself over and over that Potter wasn’t a proper boy and he didn’t have anything that Draco would be interested in. It may mean that Draco had been a transphobic arsehole, but it _had_ saved him from falling head over heels in love with Harry.

Now though.

Now.

Harry hadn’t even reached them yet and Draco already realized he was utterly fucked. The white dress shirt hugged Harry’s body and stood out against his dark skin. His slacks were tight on his thighs and Draco’s treacherous fucking body wanted Harry to strap on whatever tool he might be needing and just fuck him senseless already.

_Yes. He may not know much about testosterone, but he did know about sex toys, alright? Life in the mansion was lonely and Draco was not above taking his loneliness into his own hands… or his own arse for that matter._

Harry was wearing the same glasses he always had, but they only added to the sexy librarian look that had poor Draco in knots. He had topped off the entire look with pulling his messy hair into a tiny bun on top of his head.

Draco Malfoy was _dying_.

Harry Potter would be the _absolute_ death of him.

When Harry reached them, Hermione promptly introduced him to Pansy and Blaise, as if he didn’t already know them from school. Harry said hello to them in the well-mannered way he had always had, before he turned towards Draco.

‘Malfoy,’ he smiled and pulled an utterly stunned Draco into a hug. Draco absolutely did not, _not_ I tell you, smell Harry’s neck when he did that.

‘Potter,’ Draco muttered. He felt his face heat up and was happy for the dimmed lightning in the dining hall. He could feel the weight of the others’ eyes on him and finally panic kicked in. Draco scowled at them, mainly Hermione, before he turned on his heel and stalked off.

‘Still a people-person, I see,’ Harry said with amusement to Pansy.

‘Be nice to him. He hadn’t expected you to look this good,’ she smirked.

‘I don’t know if I should take that as an insult or a compliment,’ Harry said, but he grinned at the same time. Pansy grinned back.

‘It’s good to see you, Golden boy.’

‘And you, Parkinson. I guess I’ll go talk to him.’

‘Do you have a tracker or something on him?’ Ron asked.

‘No,’ Harry said and looked to where Draco had disappeared through the doors out into the hallway. ‘If history has taught me anything, I know where he went.’

\------------------------------

Draco quickly started wiping his tears with his hands when the door to the bathroom opened. He hadn’t planned to run in here and cry but seeing Potter again after all these years had stirred up too many unpleasant memories. Harry stepped into the bathroom, and of course it had to be Harry-fucking-Potter. He sat down on the floor next to Draco and offered him a handkerchief.

‘Honestly, Potter, who even carries these anymore?’ he bit out but he still took the offered piece of fabric. Harry only smiled. When Draco had wiped his face, he scowled at Harry. ‘How did you even find me in here?’

‘Because it’s where you always go, isn’t it, Malfoy?’ Harry pointed out with a faint smile. Draco sighed and looked around.

‘I suppose…’ he agreed weakly. ‘Or at least it used to be.’

‘Safe. No prying eyes,’ Harry offered. Draco found himself nodding. ‘You know, I didn’t expect you to come here tonight,’ Harry continued. ‘You didn’t come back for our retake of senior year, I kind of thought…’

‘I didn’t expect me to come here tonight,’ Draco said. ‘And to be perfectly honest, it’s been a complete drag. Pansy forced me here, said it would be good for me to get out of the mansion a little, see some people. As if _they_ actually wanted to see me…’

‘Who are they?’

‘Everyone… anyone… I don’t know.’ Draco sighed and looked at his hands which were fiddling with Harry’s handkerchief.

‘Oh Draco.’

‘Look, Potter, I took the wrong side in the war, I’m fully aware of that. I have been for sixteen bloody years at this point. I don’t deserve _or_ want your pity. I brought being an outcast upon myself.’

‘Like anyone would have done any differently if it had been _their_ family,’ Harry scoffed.

Draco finally turned his head so he could watch Harry.

‘Are you being real right now?’

Harry shrugged.

‘I’m just saying… It was your parents on the line, wasn’t it? If you hadn’t done what Voldemort told you, I mean. I would have done the exact same thing, a hundred times over. I think Dumbledore knew that as well. You didn’t have a choice, Malfoy.’

Draco actually found himself wincing when Harry said Voldemort’s name out loud. Still, after all these years, it was so ingrained in him that Lord Voldemort was The Dark Lord. Nothing else. For Harry to use his name so flippantly, kind of made Draco think that he would appear any minute now. Rising from one of the toilets like the basilisk.

‘That doesn’t mean what I did was right.’

Draco hid his face in Harry’s handkerchief again. It smelled of him, which was nice. Too nice. Other, unpleasant and at the same time very pleasant memories resurfaced. Draco looked at Harry. He realized he needed answers tonight, because if he never got to see Harry Potter again after this night, at least he would know:

‘If the war hadn’t started… do you think… do you think that maybe we could have…’ He went silent because he didn’t know how to continue that sentence. Harry seemed to understand perfectly, though.

‘You mean if we could have had something more than just one stolen kiss in the library and actually gone on a proper date maybe?’ he said, a little amusement showing in his voice.

‘Yes, that,’ Draco mumbled.

‘Well, if I remember correctly you’re the one who told me we couldn’t start seeing each other because you were gay and I was a _girl_,’ Harry said. His eyes searched Malfoy’s face for a reaction when his own venomous words were uttered. Draco made a face. He ran his hands through his hair. His ponytail had started looking a little frazzled.

‘I didn’t mean that, Potter, I… I was trying to scare you off. I had just gotten the word that Malfoy Manor was…’ Draco swallowed hard.

‘That Malfoy Manor was to be Voldemort’s base of operations and you couldn’t date the boy that he wanted dead, now could you? And you knew I wouldn’t accept that.’

‘You’ve always been so bloody headstrong, it’s honestly killing me!’ Draco exclaimed. Harry grinned.

‘Admit it, that’s one of the things you love so much about me, Malfoy.’

Draco sighed and admitted defeat. Harry knew him too well.

‘And to answer your question, yes, I do think we could have had more. I really liked you, Malfoy. Even though, or maybe thanks to, the constant bickering between us.’

‘You think?’

‘Yes. I still think,’ Harry said a little quieter. Draco looked at him and realized, despite the darkness in the room and the dark color of Harry’s skin, that the other man was _blushing_. Harry glanced up at him and Draco realized that he was smiling. He was Draco Malfoy goddammit, he didn’t do things like that!

‘Are you actually being bashful right now, Potter?’ he asked. ‘Did I get the famous boy who lived to blush?’

Harry shrugged, but he was smiling too, now.

‘So, I was thinking, if you don’t mind, do you want to get out of here?’ Harry asked. Draco regarded him for a while to see if Harry was shitting him or not, but he didn’t seem to be.

‘Where do you want to go?’ Draco finally asked.

‘I don’t know, anywhere that serves a good beer and isn’t surrounded by people who like me on principle and hate you for the very same reason?’ Harry offered.

Draco nodded thoughtfully.

‘You know what, Potter, that idea doesn’t sound half-bad.’


End file.
